5th December 2009 ~ Day of My LOST LOVE ~

Hi there, 

I have been debating to write this story, but something in my heart keeps telling me that I have to. Maybe it’s to put closure to us, maybe its just to tell you how I feel, I don’t really don’t know.

I think back to us over the last 17 months and I am filled with mixed emotions – love, hurt, anger, and confusion. We had a roller coaster ride in our relationship and there’s a big part of me that wants it to end but another part of me that doesn’t. 

When you told me you loved me, did you know it would take me the rest of my life. To get over the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right. When you let me believe that you weren't complete without me by your side, how could I know that you would go - that you would run…pity me – I thought you were the one.

One night after the big argument between us, I still remember that it was the very first time we supposedly broke up. You seems to be crazy when I asked for it and you were telling me you wanted me back on our track and you so damn crazily loved me – and that time, it seemed like it was true to me - but I don't know where our relationship stands and I was so confused due to your STATUS (you were legally OWNED).

Many things with guys have gone wrong in my past - all those relationships that I thought were gonna last. I have loved and been hurt too many times, so I have let down my guard and covered this broken heart of mine. I have given up on love because it gave up on me. So, if I were you, I would not try my chances on this broken heart, just turn around and leave me.

I know I must forget you to go on and I can't hold back my tears too long. Though life won't be the same, I have got to take the blame and find the strength I need to let you go.

I guess I will always love you. I will always love that simple man within you, the sweet you, the sensitive you, the affectionate you. And I will always miss the sweet words, your text messages, your admiring glances, the tight hugs, the sweet kisses, your touch, your strong arms, your comfort, the feeling of being safe, your sweet smile, your cute jokes with your crazy clown laugh, our long telephone conversation, our dinners, the holding hands, the late night in the friendly parking lot and YOU.

So, I let you go and my heart aches because I can feel the pain and the confusion you are going through. There'll never be a moment I'll regret because I have loved you since the day we met. For all the love you gave and all the love we made, I strongly believe and I know I have got to find the strength to say IT’S OVER between us.

Just walk away, just say goodbye don't turn around now, you may see me cry. I mustn't fall apart or show my broken heart or the love I feel for you. So walk away and close the door and let my life be as it was before. And I will never ever know just how I let you go…

But there's nothing left to say – JUST WALK AWAY…

Let OUR Loves be HISTORY... 

Bo0